Well, you know, God is so good.
We have been so blessed over our couple of months here. Between going to Grace Adventure, finding out about our baby's arrival in April, my husband being able to complete and pass a semester of college, amazing friends and family, and SO many things.
But, our biggest struggle is judgement.
Judgement.
Why do people have to judge us so much? Insist on my husband getting a job? Insist that our daughter get in school (which IS going to happen now)? Insist that we have answers?
We don't.
And, we can't. At least not yet.
We know that having a baby makes everything "up in the air" a lot more. We don't know when he will arrive. We don't know if he will be perfectly healthy. We don't know if I will be perfectly healthy after the delivery. We just DON'T KNOW!!!
I just wish that there was a way to say - "you know what..... we don't know".... and that be OK! I just wish that we could do what we think we should do - without people's judgement. I just wish we could do our best to be a "returning from the field temporarily" missionary family, and do what we think is right, ask the questions of the people we think we need to ask the questions of... and NO ONE question it.
It's so hard sometimes.
But, I know that God has us here for a reason. I know that we needed a break. I know that we needed some time in the US. I know that there are people/situations that we have already made an impact on and that have made an impact on us - and that's only a small part of why we are here.
Finances are so hard right now. You don't know - you just don't know - anything about what the next month will bring. Will we be able to wash our clothes? Will we be able to take care of things that we need to?
You don't know how to make sure the house stays clean. You can't go out and buy all the items needed to keep a small apartment "more organized".
So, you do the best you can.
And, some days... like today.... the apartment looks like a tornado hit it. But, you know what? Last night - we watched a movie together as a family - we laughed, we cried, and we enjoyed it TOGETHER. We rarely got to do that in Honduras. I find those times the most rewarding these days.
I don't feel great. Doing little things takes everything out of me. But, I'm finding it SO important to keep a little busy, because I get VERY restless. So, here I go. I will work on some crosses today. Hopefully get Makenzie in school tomorrow or the next day. Do some work on some baby things the following day. And, try TRY to be as "normal" as I feel like I should. And, TRY not to let other people's judgement affect the things that I THINK should be done.
I'm grateful for friends. I'm grateful that they listen. I'm grateful that they cry with me. I'm grateful that they love me for who I am. I wouldn't be sitting here if it weren't for them. Thank you, friends, for not judging me!
I really was not trying to vent. But, I also really needed to write this.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Friday, August 30, 2013
Our Big News
Well, it's been a while since I've posted...
But we've now made it back to the US... and within 1 week... we found out we are pregnant.
My heart is full, knowing that God had this planned out.
We are struggling with figuring it all out. Insurance is a little different for us because we are missionaries... we have to be OUT of the US at least 6 months out of every 12 months.
This means, with baby due April 19, and us arriving here on Aug 15... we would be here 8 months. That's not acceptable.
But I know God has a plan for it all.
I'm excited... nauseous... and joyous at the same time! We are truly blessed, and waiting on the Lord to direct our steps.
But we've now made it back to the US... and within 1 week... we found out we are pregnant.
My heart is full, knowing that God had this planned out.
We are struggling with figuring it all out. Insurance is a little different for us because we are missionaries... we have to be OUT of the US at least 6 months out of every 12 months.
This means, with baby due April 19, and us arriving here on Aug 15... we would be here 8 months. That's not acceptable.
But I know God has a plan for it all.
I'm excited... nauseous... and joyous at the same time! We are truly blessed, and waiting on the Lord to direct our steps.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Day of Rest
Well, I sit here, and have had a day of "rest" with my daughter. I'm realizing that the days that I take for rest are not necessarily rest....
Today... it has been indeed rest.
As she came in this morning and said "sick" and ran to the bathroom... we waited. We waited for her to get sick. We rested... we watched a couple of movies.
We "chilled"....
I walked down to the pulperia to get some beans and eggs to be able to eat.... and some crackers and sprite to feed to her....
As the day has progressed... she's feeling better. She's got energy. She is not pale anymore. I'm grateful. But I'm trying not to get to excited about her being well just in case.
We've had a lot of random sicknesses going around, and I just want her to be fine.
I'm truly blessed in so many ways!
I'm excited about the things that are going on around here.
But, we only have a little over 30 days left in Honduras for 2013.
It's time to start thinking about life in the US.
Today... it has been indeed rest.
As she came in this morning and said "sick" and ran to the bathroom... we waited. We waited for her to get sick. We rested... we watched a couple of movies.
We "chilled"....
I walked down to the pulperia to get some beans and eggs to be able to eat.... and some crackers and sprite to feed to her....
As the day has progressed... she's feeling better. She's got energy. She is not pale anymore. I'm grateful. But I'm trying not to get to excited about her being well just in case.
We've had a lot of random sicknesses going around, and I just want her to be fine.
I'm truly blessed in so many ways!
I'm excited about the things that are going on around here.
But, we only have a little over 30 days left in Honduras for 2013.
It's time to start thinking about life in the US.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Is this me?
Well, our life has been so different since God stepped in and said "go". God has transformed our lives in different way, and has challenged us. It hasn't been all roses. It hasn't been easy. But it has, indeed been an adventure for our family.
This year, has been no exception. As we arrived in Honduras, things were challenging. Cars didn't work properly, the mechanics didn't do what they said they did, I fell and tore the muscle in my elbow and had to wear a cast for a few weeks, then Makenzie and I got sick - first she had the croupe - then I got sick and we were home for days, we had some MAJOR electrical issues at our new house, a dear friend came down to visit for a week - and as she was here, we ended up taking her to the hospital - VERY scary situation, we then had to say goodbye to another dear friend, then we had some crazy storms that caused problems with different things at the farm, then Andy (along with a few others) had some things stolen out of a truck (including 3 passports, a laptop, a Kindle, and several other things) and last but not least, I fell and hurt my ankle - it was NOT broken, but I've been limping for a few days now. As I look back, the challenges have been huge. But, I know that God has brought us here for the INCREDIBLE things that we've accomplished so far this year.
God gave us the means to create a Shutterfly book for a dear friend, Rosa, who had lost her daughter, Rossy to Cerebral Palsy. We had an amazing family time in San Pedro Sula (much needed with sickness, and so many other things going on) earlier in the year. I had an awesome birthday with my daughter and husband by my side (which several birthdays over the last few years, we have NOT had with my husband). We were able to create a surprise party for a little 4 year old girl, Lauren, who had NEVER had a birthday party in all her life. A new little man came into our lives, and even though I haven't gotten to meet in person, my new nephew, he's still very special. We planted a garden, and saw the "fruits" of it come to fruition. We had a great time with some old friends who came down. We've had some amazing teams come down who have taught me so much about life, love and God. We've had some amazing interns who are also teaching me things. We had a great visit with another dear friend who just came down to spend time with us! And, I've had an opportunity to bless some of our scholarship students through photography.
I just can't believe how blessed we've been this year. Even through the trials and tribulations, God has shown His face and hand in everything.
I would like to say something about photography. You know, I've never been too good at it. But God gave me a pretty good camera, and I always felt like I needed a descent one to be able to take pictures of our family, our life and adventures... so our family and friends back in the US could "be a part" of our lives. But, a little while back, God gave me the thought of using it as a ministry opportunity. He put the desire in my heart to take pictures of our Senior scholarship students. In the US, we always get "Senior Pictures"... it's standard. We pose with our "awesome" cars, our pets, our best outfits, and we even go to get our hair and makeup done (for the girls) before going to have our "sitting". But, in Honduras, they get a "picture" that is nothing too fancy... and is very basic. They don't smile. They don't make a big deal. Then they graduate. Their mothers have something like this hanging on their walls to commemorate your big life event:
I mean, it's nice and all - but couldn't they have better. Especially knowing that 6 out of 10 of our graduating seniors are the FIRST EVER in their family to graduate from high school.
So, I set out to make it happen - and just this week, I've ordered the pictures (and a few "surprises") for the kids. My plan is that I will go find frames for their pictures, put the pictures in them, and then the kids will present the gift to their mothers. It should be amazing. Here's a sample of some of the pictures I took:
I can't wait to see what God does with this... and can't wait to see the faces of the ladies when they get presented with these gifts.
This year, has been no exception. As we arrived in Honduras, things were challenging. Cars didn't work properly, the mechanics didn't do what they said they did, I fell and tore the muscle in my elbow and had to wear a cast for a few weeks, then Makenzie and I got sick - first she had the croupe - then I got sick and we were home for days, we had some MAJOR electrical issues at our new house, a dear friend came down to visit for a week - and as she was here, we ended up taking her to the hospital - VERY scary situation, we then had to say goodbye to another dear friend, then we had some crazy storms that caused problems with different things at the farm, then Andy (along with a few others) had some things stolen out of a truck (including 3 passports, a laptop, a Kindle, and several other things) and last but not least, I fell and hurt my ankle - it was NOT broken, but I've been limping for a few days now. As I look back, the challenges have been huge. But, I know that God has brought us here for the INCREDIBLE things that we've accomplished so far this year.
God gave us the means to create a Shutterfly book for a dear friend, Rosa, who had lost her daughter, Rossy to Cerebral Palsy. We had an amazing family time in San Pedro Sula (much needed with sickness, and so many other things going on) earlier in the year. I had an awesome birthday with my daughter and husband by my side (which several birthdays over the last few years, we have NOT had with my husband). We were able to create a surprise party for a little 4 year old girl, Lauren, who had NEVER had a birthday party in all her life. A new little man came into our lives, and even though I haven't gotten to meet in person, my new nephew, he's still very special. We planted a garden, and saw the "fruits" of it come to fruition. We had a great time with some old friends who came down. We've had some amazing teams come down who have taught me so much about life, love and God. We've had some amazing interns who are also teaching me things. We had a great visit with another dear friend who just came down to spend time with us! And, I've had an opportunity to bless some of our scholarship students through photography.
I just can't believe how blessed we've been this year. Even through the trials and tribulations, God has shown His face and hand in everything.
I would like to say something about photography. You know, I've never been too good at it. But God gave me a pretty good camera, and I always felt like I needed a descent one to be able to take pictures of our family, our life and adventures... so our family and friends back in the US could "be a part" of our lives. But, a little while back, God gave me the thought of using it as a ministry opportunity. He put the desire in my heart to take pictures of our Senior scholarship students. In the US, we always get "Senior Pictures"... it's standard. We pose with our "awesome" cars, our pets, our best outfits, and we even go to get our hair and makeup done (for the girls) before going to have our "sitting". But, in Honduras, they get a "picture" that is nothing too fancy... and is very basic. They don't smile. They don't make a big deal. Then they graduate. Their mothers have something like this hanging on their walls to commemorate your big life event:
I mean, it's nice and all - but couldn't they have better. Especially knowing that 6 out of 10 of our graduating seniors are the FIRST EVER in their family to graduate from high school.
So, I set out to make it happen - and just this week, I've ordered the pictures (and a few "surprises") for the kids. My plan is that I will go find frames for their pictures, put the pictures in them, and then the kids will present the gift to their mothers. It should be amazing. Here's a sample of some of the pictures I took:
I can't wait to see what God does with this... and can't wait to see the faces of the ladies when they get presented with these gifts.
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